Oct 16 2008
When Parents Face A Serious Illness
It seems when you are a kid you view your parent’s health in only one dimension…invincible. I remember feeling that way when I was younger. My father was always a hard working blue collar provider. He worked six days a week and never, (let me YELL this out,) ever complained. Unlike how many of us are today, we gripe about too many things. Life is not fair. It is not always easy. I think people have forgotten that concept.
When my parents were ill, it changed forever the way I remembered them. I know that sounds obvious, but I never thought of my parent’s health when I was very young. You just knew they were going to be around forever, live for a very, very long time. They just were there and did the same things and life was always happening around us, because of them. They were loving and thoughtful parents and you could easily talk with them anytime. They were not materialistic people and I now cherish that more than ever. What was life like back then, when people came over for coffee and just visited?
I had a life altering surgery in 2007, and my life too changed it’s course in ways I would not have expected. Great things happened like getting married and having new in-laws/great grandparents (which I so dearly miss). However, tough things happened too, like never being able to work at what I loved doing, all my life. The biggest change came when I lost my house due to my unemployment and had to move far away from my own kids. That was very hard to do. So, I adjusted and had to regroup and look ahead. I know my story is not as devastating as someone with a terminal illness or loss of limbs. I can’t use my body the way I used to, their are severe limitations. I can’t laugh out loud and sing the way I used to, but I can speak, just quietly. My own kids knew I was told I needed this surgery but none of us realized my life would be changed so permanently. I am 53 and I was not prepared for such abrupt differences in my health. Yet, this is what life seems to do to us sometimes, brings us the unexpected.
You have to be a very optimistic person and be so grateful for what you have, the love of family and friends. You have to learn to be patient and accept some truths. Illnesses changes the dynamics of a family, you get scared then you get frustrated, then even angry. Then you learn to cope. My message on this post is to love your life, change your life, do something positive, and embrace where you are or where you need to go. It all can change in an instant. Tell your loved ones you love them and appreciate them and live your life being your best person. Be kind to others and treat one another with respect. Life is short. Feel happier. Give our kids those important “Life Lessons” and be real as a parent. Someday our children will be faced with a parent’s health crisis, and we as parents don’t need them to “fix” the situation, but we need them to be able to cope with maturity and love and compassion. This is why we need to teach them Life is not always fair and easy. You do not get everything you want, nor should you. Compassion and love will get you through these tough times. so please teach that to your children.