Parents Talking

I was born and raised in CA all of my life. I was married in 1977 to a good man, however he was soon to be diagnosed with Manic/Depression, or Bi Polar as they now call it. His illness grew increasingly more difficult to manage, and it became obvious I had to make some important changes. After many years of counseling and trying to work things through, we were divorced. I raised our five children on my own, as a single parent. I never dated or went out with other men for many years. I just felt my life was busy enough with my children and my Family Home childcare business. We had our struggles, but we also had each other.

Many years later, I met and fell in love with a great guy and we both felt very lucky to have found love again after 50! He lived in Nevada and every weekend he drove his motorcycle to California to see me. I got out of my comfort zone, my safety zone and had the best time riding along Pacific Coast Highway on the back of his bike. I climbed out of my comfort zone and threw myself into a new life! I was still the same Mom, and Childcare Provider, just a new lease on my own personal life. My girls were very hesitant about my new relationship, and my sons all but my youngest one, were a bit reserved. I told myself, this was a wonderful thing! He loved my kids, (or we would never be together) he loved me and showered me with love, affection, and companionship. We had so much fun together, and both of us felt incredibly lucky!

Later I had a surgery that I never fully recovered from. It was devastating and I was unable to return to the work I have always loved. He asked me to marry him in 2007 and I was thrilled. I moved away from California and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My kids and I were a tight knit group and have gone through so much together. This was not an easy thing to do. I knew I was only four hours away, but it wasn’t like they could stop by for a cup of coffee or have dinner with us on a whim. You have to plan for this trip, even if it only takes four hours to get here. I never wanted to live away from my children and I have never lived outside of CA.
I wanted to have my kids stop by and visit and share in our lives. All of my life I have cared for other families children and finally now after all these years my children have their new babies. We have a great time together, sharing our family stories and memories. I will always wish I was only twenty minutes away, but I know they are glad I am happy too.

I take some comfort hearing from friends whose children have moved away or they have themselves. They share their stories about how they make the best of it all, too. There is no script in life. Houses come and go, cars come and go, people come and go, except you have to work very hard to make that constant connection. I adore my kids and their babies, my family of siblings and I think about them all the time. I feel they know that too.

I will always wish for the sound of one of my kids cars pulling in the driveway. I will always want to see them at our front door, ready for a good old fashioned “mom meal” and cup of coffee. For now, I will settle for planning our trips, and waking up to a good pot of coffee, with our family, babies laughter and great big hugs.