Parents Talking

I hope you “REAL” single moms out there are not comparing yourselves to those celebrity single mothers. I certainly think it is wonderful that so many women feel their biological clock ticking away, and want to adopt their own “little bundle.” These “Hollywood Moms” have the money, the perfect housing situation, all the groceries they could ever want and the opportunity to hire extra help. They live with all the accessories of a life, we have never known.
You can pick up any magazine to see some of our favorite celebrities walking along by their favorite stores with their kids dressed in their cute, funky, trendy, designer clothes, it looks so adorable. It’s not “our” world. It’s the world of opulence and fortune. Not that this is wrong, or bad, just that it’s not real to thousands of regular, hard working, single moms.
It’s easy to be swayed into believing or wishing your life could resemble that someday. Not unless we marry a millionaire, become an over-night sensation, or win the lottery. The reality: We single moms don’t have enough food half the time, rarely go out to dinner, and can only pray for extra help once in a while. That would be in the form of a grandmother, an aunt, a neighbor or a good friend. Even with that, we usually feel guilty to take some time for ourselves, if ever.
No, our life is filled with: what’s for dinner, take out the trash, pay the bills, wash the clothes, feed the pets, bathe the kids, check on the homework, juggle the utility bills with the grocery bill, or perhaps even a school event that requires extra cash you do not have. That’s the glamorous life of a single mom.
Do I wish the Hollywood life for every single mother? No, not really. My life was a constant struggle with my four kids and then adopting my three year old nephew, and that took eight more years of heartache and tears. It was really tough sometimes and I cried many nights in my bed. I begged God to help me stay strong, and “keep my happy” going.
Every roadblock that came my way, got me here, where I am now. Every lesson, that I didn’t want to learn made me the confident woman I am today. Every sigh, every tear, every hug made me realize my work was as good as anyone else. What sets us apart from those “Hollywood Moms” is this: We live in the moment, sometimes a very happy moment, and sometimes a desperate moment. We make important decisions on our own, that will help shape our childrens future. We are the CEO of our family and set the standards by which are children will grow and develop into wonderful human beings.
It’s the most important job on the face of this EARTH! With just one hurdle or major obstacle in the path of a celebrity mom, they might tumble and not have the strength to get back up and strive to do better the next time. That’s what all of you single moms have that those with excesses don’t have: A tenacious spirit, that will survive anything!
Pat yourself on the back, be your own celebrity, and make your kids proud!

What if this journey as a single mom was to prove to you, that your life
ahead will be greater than you can imagine? Perhaps one day, all the
worry and fretting will finally subside. If you must take one more step
through this day, make it a giant leap!

There is no money and the bills are overdue. The fridge looks empty, and
your kids clothes are getting too small. You can’t remember when you had
your last hair appointment. Your nails are never done, and your hands
feel old. Life is calling and all it keeps saying is: These are the
tough times, but you will get through.

That was my life too, back when I was raising my five children. We had
pancakes way too often, so much so, that to this day, I don’t really
care for them. Pancakes? really? Yep. Sometimes that was all I had for
my kids, and it hurt me terribly. I wrestled with paying a utility bill
or buying extra food. However, I ran a business from my home, and I
needed every single utility to stay ON. My own kids used to tell me,
“The daycare kids eat better than we do.” They were right. Now, please
don’t get me wrong, my kids were nourished, and hydrated, but they had
planned meals and that meant, they just couldn’t eat whatever they
wanted to. I had to make sure nobody ate more apples or bananas than
what was allotted for. I had five school lunches to fix and three meals
a day for me and my five kids, and then there was my daycare business.
My daycare food was separate from my family’s food. That’s just how it
had to be. Still we all ate fine, not great, but the belly was full.

When times got tough, or worse, or harder than normal, I would pack a
picnic lunch, grabbed our hula hoops, Frisbee, and balls and we all
headed to our local park. There is nothing better than seeing a HAPPY
mom playing with her kids. We threw the Frisbees around, took turns
having hula hoop contests, and then we played ball together. Sometimes,
we would make a game out of running the fastest to one of the parks
biggest trees. Then the most fun thing for this mom, I went on the big
swings. Even as a kid I could swing for hours. My mind would soar with
ideas and imagination. To this day, I still feel the same way about
swings, it’s such a wonderful “free feeling.”

Sometimes, you have to wear the hat of an Adventurer. You get to “play”
the part for your kids and show them how to pick themselves up with
good, simple, fun. Running outdoors, playing tag or having a family
picnic. There are so many great adventures to take with your family,
that cost very little. Sometimes you have to pick yourself up off the
floor, and see life through the eyes of a child.

No matter how serious our problems are, don’t ever lose sight of the
child-like experiences of life. Be open, be present, be silly, be an
Adventurer!