Parents Talking

You never think twice about the loyalty of your “good” friends, until a big change happens in your life. In my case, it was my “new life.” I found a great man to share my life with after being a single mom for over 14 years. I fell in love with this man, the head over heels kind of love that you only see in true movie magic! Most of my friends were thrilled for me and very supportive. However, my closest friend, lacked the same enthusiasm. She has witnessed my life’s story and has seen the new changes in me with falling in love again, after so many years. I did not change to be with a man, I added this man to my life. At first I thought it was, like some of my older kids, just feeling hesitant about “losing Me.” I never had one encouraging discussion about my new-found happiness. It’s as if, this was a new person that did not know me for 30 years, not my dear friend, who should be happy for me.

Friends are interesting creatures…they are 100% there for you in times of trouble, and despair, but how good are they when there is reason to celebrate? I have a handful of really good friends, and three I could tell my deepest secrets to…but I will always be surprised and even disappointed when someone you are counting on, let’s you down. I have just recently published my first book, and I have had many mixed reactions to this news. By far, most of it has been very encouraging and positive.  This was a turning point for me to realize that the “things” that happen in our lives is for ourselves, it is our reason to celebrate, no one else. This milestone is mine.

Friendships are funny, like the relationships between sisters. Some are very close and celebrate your accomplishments for life, while others are guarded and too stubborn to acknowledge any triumph. I would love to have the encouragement and support from everyone that I care for, but I can live without that too. The mere mention of this post is a reminder for myself, not to take life too seriously, don’t take it so personal, and to remember, that is not for me to judge. I would hope that eventually, she might say something, so I go “there.” I have taught children all of my life, to be kind and to talk nice to their friends. I have taught scores of kids to be compassionate and treat each other with manners and respect. I remember what a great friend she has always been to me and my family, so I need to go “there.” I also need to remember that I cannot control how or what people say and do. I can control what I say or do. I will remember great, long years of a wonderful friendship, that was reciprocal and loving. I wished my “good friend” was able to show her support and friendship in a more positive light. Until then, I must remember those we love and care about, are just human, and we are all flawed. I don’t want to believe that there would be any negative feelings here, so I must practice what I have preached to children for many years. Treat others, as you want to be treated. The End

It can be awkward getting back into the dating scene. Suddenly you feel out of place or out of touch with relationship stuff. If you have been working full time, (which I assume, most single parents do) and raising children, and trying to juggle events, activities and family gatherings, you wonder what is left for me to give?

Plenty! It might be difficult for you to see that now, but there are many good men out there who feel the very same way as you. They don’t have all the right moves or the best fashion sense. Yet, they are out there. Some have wonderful personalities that can light up a room, others have the quiet elusive charm that might balance your hectic life. While others still, are just waiting to meet someone who wants to settle down and have a great family life too.

I was in my late 40′s when I started dating again. I had worked very hard on losing over 100 pounds, all for myself. Not for any man, or other person, just me. I believe my 40′s were my “taking back of Laurie” days…taking risks, changing ideas and rediscovering what was most important, that I was more than just a daughter, wife (ex) sister, friend and mother…I was all of these and more!

I took dance lessons at a local dinner club, went back to night school, started writing again, and finally after all the different “family type” cars, I got myself my very first convertible! I loved my new sense of feeling a wee bit selfish. I have raised five children and attended to all the functions and appointments and responsibilities that were needed, all with love and pride. Now it was my time, to give to me. My weight loss made me feel alive with energy and optimism. Whether I found that good guy or not, personally, I was happier than I had been in years!

Although my kids were older when I started dating, I still felt there were standards to live by. Nobody came home with me after the date was over, nor did I invite anyone to family gatherings unless I felt they were “special” and future material. I feel kids already have lost someone special in their lives, the other parent. Why confuse them with different men in and out of their home, when nothing is real, permanent or valued? My family meant so much to me, I never wanted to cheapen their view of what a healthy relationship should look like.

It is fine to date and search for that great guy. He is out there, and just remember you are worthy of a loving, happy and healthy relationship, and most importantly, so are your children!